A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables, and asks:
“Can I join you?”
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Now they have cameras everywhere
When I was young, you could go to the grocery store with two dollars in your pocket and come out with a loaf of bread, two dozen eggs, and a pound of butter.
Now, they have cameras everywhere. -
I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical
I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical jokes about oral sex. You might say she has a good gag reflex.
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Catch a Falling Star and Blackmail It
Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket. Then tell it that unless you get a cool half-mil, you’ll sell to the highest tabloid bidder those embarrassing photos of it puking naked in the alley.
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I like dating really short guys so that when we get into a
I like dating really short guys so that when we get into a fight, I can piss them off by saying, “We’re not currently seeing tit-to-eye.”
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Mean Students: A New Level of Average
I’ve had a lot of average students.
But none of them have been as mean as the ones I have this year.
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Right Up There
Not sure if a colonoscopy is the most painful medical procedure but it’s right up there!
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Kick his ass at Quarters
You know that guy who keeps winning every day on the game show “Jeopardy!”? Betcha I could kick his ass at Quarters. Ha! Take another shot, pencil neck!
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Doctors recommend Pepto Bismol for their patients not already
Doctors recommend Pepto Bismol for their patients not already shitting horrifying, jet-black concrete.
