A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He says to the bartender, “Two beers please. One for me, and one for the road.”
Meh Thoughts
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My wife and I just love experimenting in the kitchen! Last week
My wife and I just love experimenting in the kitchen! Last week we tried deviled eggs flavored with orange zest and Thai sriracha sauce. The week before that I banged her on the top dishwasher rack while she shoved a wire whisk up my ass.
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I’m not a coffee guy, so I’m never sure what to order at Starbucks.
I’m not a coffee guy, so I’m never sure what to order at Starbucks. Today I got the Vanilla Blonde Roast, because I really like all three of those separately.
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Three Legs. To Me, That’s an Exotic Dancer
Three legs. To me, that’s an exotic dancer.
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Dildos need a tagline, for marketing purposes. My suggestion:
Dildos need a tagline, for marketing purposes. My suggestion: “The gift that keeps on getting.”
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Half a Worm: The Ultimate Disappointment!
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm. -
They say the truth will set you free.
They say the truth will set you free. Just be sure there aren’t any cops within earshot when you try this one out.
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I don’t even like to bargain or haggle, but one of my favorite
I don’t even like to bargain or haggle, but one of my favorite words in the English language is still “dicker.”
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High Maintenance? I’m Outta Here!
I had a fling with a lady janitor, she was always stoned so I had to break it off with her…
I’m just not into high maintenance women! -
They say that slow and steady wins the race.
They say that slow and steady wins the race. Well, “they” apparently don’t run the US Olympic Committee, I can tell you that.
