If everything really is bigger in Texas, those gay weddings are going to be FABULOUS!
Meh Thoughts
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My mother loves Valentine’s Day because it’s the only day of the year when she doesn’t
My mother loves Valentine’s Day because it’s the only day of the year when she doesn’t have to remind me what a lonely, pathetic loser I am.
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Nowadays, it seems like a lot of people are dying of consumption in 19th century
Nowadays, it seems like a lot of people are dying of consumption in 19th century literature.
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Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to
Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to clean around the tied-up midget.
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One Man’s Junk Is Another Man’s Treasure
Why are gay dating sites so popular?
Because one man’s junk is another man’s treasure.
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Secretary of Defense
If the top doctor and top lawyer are called the Surgeon General and the Attorney General, how come the person who heads up the military is called the Secretary of Defense? I suppose it’s because he can type really fast.
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Sails Are Going Through the Roof
I started a business making yachts in the attic.
Sails are going through the roof.
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Two Dead Dogs
Last week, my girlfriend’s dog died. So to cheer her up I bought her an identical one. She was livid.
Yelled at me, “What the fuck am I going to do with two dead dogs?”
