I was shocked when my boyfriend told me he’d love to join me for a spa day yesterday. Turns out he’d seen their advertisement promising extreme facials.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Scaring the crap out of the passengers
It was in 1875 that my great-great-grandmother Elsa began appearing on stages throughout the Old West, and scaring the crap out of the passengers.
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I’m glad the “Fifty Shades of Grey” author decided to call that
I’m glad the “Fifty Shades of Grey” author decided to call that secret boudoir the “Red Room,” because “Room Where I Get to Stick Stuff Up Your Ass” sounds much less mysterious.
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Things started to go sideways
Everything was fine until the crabs arrived.
That’s when things started to go sideways.
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Deluxe Magic Hat
My wife thinks that TV is a big waste of time, but I just learned something that’s sure to change her mind: When buying a magic hat for the kid’s snowman, spring for the deluxe version that keeps the snowman from melting when the temperature goes above freezing.
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A slipper
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A slipper.
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Couldn’t see himself wearing them
Why did the short-sighted vampire refuse to get glasses?
He just couldn’t see himself wearing them. -
Titty fucking: fun to say, and even more fun to do
Titty fucking: fun to say, and even more fun to do!
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You’ll Get Used to It
My wife and I went to Subway for lunch. She ordered us a footlong to split. I told her 6″ wasn’t enough.
She replied, “You’ll get used to it!”
