I’ve recently switched from eating venison to eating pheasant.
Absolute game changer.
Meh Thoughts
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Still Wouldn’t Tell Me Why It Crossed the Road
I grilled a chicken for two hours…
Still wouldn’t tell me why it crossed the road.
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I overheard two young women talking, and one looked at me and said, “If I were 50 and
I overheard two young women talking, and one looked at me and said, “If I were 50 and still single, I would do that guy.” I guess that makes me bucket-licious.
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A mime was arrested after breaking his left arm in a bar fight
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still…has the right to remain silent.
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A Weighty Memory: Words That Stick
Tell your wife she looks great 100 times and she won’t remember. Tell her once that she needs to lose weight and she’ll remember forever.
Because an elephant never forgets. -
Can you buy those hotel “Do not disturb” signs?
Can you buy those hotel “Do not disturb” signs? I want one to wear as a necklace.
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Got in Treble
Why was the musician arrested? He got in treble.
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My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t
My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t like to watch me eat Froot Loops and play video games, because that would pretty much cover my entire day.
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When life gives you fellatio, thank it profusely! Of course, you
When life gives you fellatio, thank it profusely! Of course, you ought to wait until you cum first, just in case life changes its mind and decides to give you blue balls instead.
