Did you know that there are 47 distinct ways to masturbate? Thanks, Wankepedia!
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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That guy from You’re So Vain
You know, someone should introduce that woman from “Killing Me Softly,” who thinks the guy is singing about her, to that guy from “You’re So Vain.”
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Sleeping Bag
You ever get laid in a sleeping bag? It’s awful.
You can’t ever move, you’re drenched in sweat, and your scout master is covering your mouth.
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A Stroke at Any Time
My doctor said I could masturbate as much as I want…
That’s what he meant when he said I could have a stroke at any time, right?
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Keeping your dignity means both knowing what to say and knowing
Keeping your dignity means both knowing what to say and knowing what not to say. That’s why I never talk about my farts, no matter how much they sound like Donald Duck playing the kazoo.
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Such a Small Organ
In bed with a priest, a nun said, “Father, I never expected you’d have such a small organ.”
He replied, “Why, Sister… I never expected to be playing in such a large cathedral.”
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The Penfish Is Even Mightier
The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from…
…except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.
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I get it, it’s not “birds of a feather fuck together.” But I’m
I get it, it’s not “birds of a feather fuck together.” But I’m still not canceling the bird orgy.
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In heaven, the guys’ dicks never pop out and the pussies never
In heaven, the guys’ dicks never pop out and the pussies never fart. It’s awesome.
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I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to
I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to have such a cute, funny girlfriend.” Have they not noticed the tits?!
