I wonder if the girls from the “2 Girls, 1 Cup” video are the kind of people who think that their shit don’t stink.
Meh Thoughts
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I wonder if the markings on a panda’s coat correspond to white and dark meat.
I wonder if the markings on a panda’s coat correspond to white and dark meat.
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My Real Life
I would be completely happy to just live in my dreams, if it weren’t for my girlfriend repeatedly changing into Hitler. No, wait a minute — that’s my real life.
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Every book is an “educational book,” if you read it.
Every book is an “educational book,” if you read it. Even if the only lesson you learn is, “Man, this book sucks.”
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I thought those old people were just bad tippers, but it turns
I thought those old people were just bad tippers, but it turns out I was at “poll” — not “pole” — headquarters.
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Truth or Trouble: The Dress Dilemma
“Does this dress make me look fat?”
“Promise not to be mad, whatever I say?”
“Yes, of course.”
“I fucked your sister.” -
Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you
Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you.
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Mirror Mirror
I want to have sex with someone who’s as attractive as I am.
That’s why I always masturbate in front of a mirror.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window.
When God closes a door, he opens a window. When God farts, he opens two windows, for the cross-ventilation effect.
