Unfortunately, it wasn’t until after I had spent three days eating nothing but beets and asparagus, and downing enough Karo syrup to kill a horse, that I realized maybe it was actually during a dream when I came up with my super-secret formula for “pissing Skittles.”
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Registered Six Offender
Why was six afraid of seven?
Seven was a registered six offender.
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C Is for the Pirate’s True Love
What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
You might be tempted to say “Arrrrrrr” but a pirate’s first love is the C. -
Drug Dealer vs. Hooker
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
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Stuck in Ink: An Invisible Emergency!
I accidentally swallowed a bottle of invisible ink.
Now I am in the ER waiting to be seen.
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“STOP BLOWING IT FOR EVERYONE!!” I yelled at the fluffer on the
“STOP BLOWING IT FOR EVERYONE!!” I yelled at the fluffer on the set of our “Addams Family” themed porno.
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Whenever I cum during sex, I like to say “Thank you” to my
Whenever I cum during sex, I like to say “Thank you” to my boyfriend. He appreciates it and says it makes it feel like he was in the room.
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The great thing about being bisexual is that you can get revenge
The great thing about being bisexual is that you can get revenge on a woman who turns you down by telling her you were only hitting on her for a shot at blowing her nearby friend.
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I was shocked when my boyfriend told me he’d love to join me for
I was shocked when my boyfriend told me he’d love to join me for a spa day yesterday. Turns out he’d seen their advertisement promising extreme facials.
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I still don’t understand what went wrong. I thought it was a
I still don’t understand what went wrong. I thought it was a pretty foolproof idea to take my animal-loving, PETA-member girlfriend down to Tijuana for a real, live donkey show.
