Meh Thoughts: Dark Shower Thoughts & One-Liners

Trycocksagain: A New Hope for Lesbians

The FDA just approved a medication for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycocksagain.

My wife paid off our house and vehicles with her OnlyFans account.

She’s gonna freak when she finds out she has an OnlyFans account.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She turned around and gave me a big hug.

I thought about getting a snippet of a language I don’t speak tattooed on me. How’s this “camel cock” from ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics?

You can tell how puritanical this country is by the fact that Hallmark doesn’t make a “Happy Felllated Birthday” card.

“Slowly Encroaching Chocolate” is a level on Candy Crush Saga. It’s also a pretty fair descriptor for the state of my underwear.

Ever since I got a wheelchair, my wife’s been so rude to me.

Always pushing me around and talking behind my back.

Urinal proverb: A watched penis never pisses.

Give a woman a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Tell her that she *smells* like fish and you’ll be wanking for months.

I compared how I walked down the street drunk vs sober.
The difference was staggering.