Last night, my friends and I went to a geek strip club called “The Hard Disk.” Lame, you say? What if I told you they only charged $20 for a laptop dance?
Meh Thoughts
-
Fortune favors those in motion.
Fortune favors those in motion. And don’t forget: Oozing is a type of motion.
-
The 69th Wedding Anniversary
The 69th wedding anniversary should be the dildo anniversary. Not only is the number appropriate, but you’re definitely not fucking anyone by then.
-
Maybe if we made kids color inside the lines instead of allowing this expressionist BS,
Maybe if we made kids color inside the lines instead of allowing this expressionist BS, they’d be able to park in a space when they grew up.
-
I understand. You’re making a bullshit argument because over
I understand. You’re making a bullshit argument because over there in bullshit land, the bullshit trees only produce bullshit fruit.
-
Show it your cross
Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village when suddenly a vampire jumps out from behind a bush.
The first nun screams to her friend, “Quick, show it your cross!”
“Get the fuck out of the way!” she yells.
-
Fool Me -(n) Times
Fool me zero times, shame on nobody.
Fool me -(n) times, where nA = {x ∈ ℝ | 0 < x ≤ 1}, -(shame) on you.
-
Stolen Antidepressants: Find Joy in My Pain
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy.
-
I’ve heard that the Eskimos have over 80 words to describe snow.
I’ve heard that the Eskimos have over 80 words to describe snow. Hell, they should get jobs in the Lipstick Color Naming Department at Revlon.
