“If you want something done right, do it yourself.” – Masturbators
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Money may be the root of all evil, but guys with tiny dicks are
Money may be the root of all evil, but guys with tiny dicks are a pretty close second.
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Those are just contractions
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.” -
His Parking Space
I’d imagine that one thing worse than finding out Osama Bin Laden is still alive would be him coming back to work to find that you’ve been using his parking space all this time.
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They say you never forget the name of your first love. Mine was
They say you never forget the name of your first love. Mine was Asshole O’Douchebag.
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My Asian girlfriend made us dinner last night, eventually
My Asian girlfriend made us dinner last night, eventually followed by passionate lovemaking. Nevertheless, I awakened abruptly only an hour later, with an unsatisfied hunger. Was it the twice cooked pork, or the twice porked cook that I was craving?
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Twice the Trouble: A Wish Gone Wrong
A man meets a genie who grants him three wishes, but warns him: whatever he asks for, his ex-wife gets twice as much.
“Well,” says the man, “for my first wish, beat me half to death.”
