Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • I thought I’d be successful with my specialty furniture

    I thought I’d be successful with my specialty furniture business, but every time I call a prospective customer and ask if they want to see my stool samples, they just gasp and hang up.

  • Wolves: Higher Jumpers Than Houses!

    Did you know that wolves can jump higher than an average 1 story house?

    Absolutely true, but mostly because houses can’t jump very high.

  • Back at work tomorrow

    A morgue worker died today.
    But he’ll be back at work tomorrow.

  • Explaining AI

    My daughter asked me to explain AI to her.

    I said, “You know how Dad gives wrong answers confidently? It’s like that but faster.”

  • Money can’t buy happiness. Except the kind of happiness that can

    Money can’t buy happiness. Except the kind of happiness that can be found with multiple orgasms brought on by well-made vibrators.

  • Show it your cross

    Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village when suddenly a vampire jumps out from behind a bush.

    The first nun screams to her friend, “Quick, show it your cross!”

    “Get the fuck out of the way!” she yells.

  • Chinese Amputee

    What do you call a Chinese amputee?

    Tai Wan Shu.

  • $50 Every Time

    My current girlfriend loves to give blowjobs. Then again, so would I if I got $50 every time I did it.

  • Tends to be yellower

    The rain falls upon the just and unjust alike, though the rain that falls upon the just tends to be yellower.

  • Grandpa’s Pail: A Twist on Goodbye

    My grandfather didn’t kick the bucket.. he just turned a little pail.

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