The first person to ever buy a rooster must have been pretty damned surprised the next morning.
Meh Thoughts
-
I didn’t know that lethargy was a symptom of Lyme disease in cats.
I didn’t know that lethargy was a symptom of Lyme disease in cats. Holy smokes! My cat has had Lyme disease his entire life!
-
A wise saying in a trying moment is like bread during a famine: Better keep it to
A wise saying in a trying moment is like bread during a famine: Better keep it to yourself, or people will tear you apart.
-
There So Stupid
I hate it when people don’t know the difference between your and you’re.
There so stupid.
-
Sometimes a girl just needs to hear those three little words:
Sometimes a girl just needs to hear those three little words: “I’d hit that.”
-
The Classic Move
Me: *trying the ol’ yawn/reach-around-the-shoulder trick*
Other guy at urinal: Hey.
-
The best part about soccer starting to gain attention in the US, is that it makes it
The best part about soccer starting to gain attention in the US, is that it makes it less of a gamble to Google “Women juggling balls” at work.
-
I despise it when those jerk perverts call and wake you up in the middle of the night,
I despise it when those jerk perverts call and wake you up in the middle of the night, talk dirty for a few minutes, then hang up. Slow down, Speedy — give a girl time to catch up!
-
Princess No More: An Alliance in Love
My last girlfriend demanded to be treated as a princess.
Boy was she mad when I married her off to secure an alliance with France.
