If GOP candidate Mike Huckabee’s is elected president, he plans to build a fence to keep the aliens out of the U.S. Maybe I’m the moron here, but it seems that once you manage to traverse the entire galaxy, it’s unlikely that eight feet of chain link is going to stop you.
Meh Thoughts
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I Keep Wanting to Go to Oklahoma
I keep wanting to go to Oklahoma, but I’m terrified the evil storm chasers from the movie Twister might still be there.
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I brought a toilet plunger as my weapon of choice to this gang fight, because shit be
I brought a toilet plunger as my weapon of choice to this gang fight, because shit be going DOWN. /@B0nrMunky
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That’s 15-love
My wife said, “I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis.”
I replied, “That’s 15-love.”
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Making Headlines Everywhere
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows?
They’re making headlines everywhere!
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I came, I saw, I came again. This porno theater is cool
I came, I saw, I came again. This porno theater is cool!
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“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in
“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in the yard?” “Read the fine print on the Cialis box, Karen.”
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Trans Fat
What do you get when you cremate a femboy/tomboy?
Trans fat.
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When I was in high school, I was abducted by an alien and anally
When I was in high school, I was abducted by an alien and anally probed. I don’t remember what the alien looked like, though, because it disguised itself as my wrestling coach and forced me to drink a mind-control drug from a tequila bottle.
