Of all the movie lines I’ve quoted in an effort to pick up a guy, City Slickers’ “I shit bigger than you” is probably my least successful.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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It Hurts When They Boil Their Nipples
Why don’t blondes like to breastfeed their children?
Because it hurts when they boil their nipples.
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hilarious submissions, so here we go… * * * *** * * * * * *
hilarious submissions, so here we go… * * * *** * * * * * * Did you catch that? I just farted in Braille!
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Makeup Sex
My girlfriend surprised me the other day by suggesting we should have makeup sex, then for some reason she screamed and slammed the door on me when I showed up in my Gene Simmons KISS costume. Needless to say, we’re fighting again.
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Nuns vs. Vampire: A Roadside Showdown!
Two nuns were out driving one night when a vampire jumped onto the hood of their car.
The first nun yelled to the second “Sister, show him your cross!”
So the second nun leaned out the window and screamed “Hey! Get the fuck off our car!” -
What I did to that hooker last night was so epic, it’ll go down
What I did to that hooker last night was so epic, it’ll go down in the anals of history.
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Dance in the School for the Blind’s talent show like nobody’s
Dance in the School for the Blind’s talent show like nobody’s watching.
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Brown and Rhymes with Snoop
A man got fired from his job for having sex during work hours. When his boss asked why he did it, the man replied, “I don’t know man, she was just lying there naked. I kinda got the hint so we fucked.”
He was never hired at another morgue again.
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Usually when I jot something down on my hand as a reminder, it’s
Usually when I jot something down on my hand as a reminder, it’s along the lines of, “Because of the infected calluses, use Lefty this week.”
