I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out would be how not to cum on my own face when I masturbate.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Apparently a red light outside a whorehouse doesn’t mean the
Apparently a red light outside a whorehouse doesn’t mean the same thing as at a traffic light. Blue balls seem universal, though.
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She Really Means Well
My wife just yelled that I should “fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth filled with water and die.”
I know she really means well.
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Demented Exhibitionist Guy
I bet one of the hardest parts of being a superhero is remembering which phone booth you left your clothes in. And by “superhero,” what I mean is “demented-exhibitionist-guy.”
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My wife finally got back at me for all those years of surprising
My wife finally got back at me for all those years of surprising her lingerie which was too small buy giving me a cock ring which was too big.
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I wonder if the guy who invented the vibrator heard a strange
I wonder if the guy who invented the vibrator heard a strange little voice whispering to him: “Build it and they will cum.”
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I doubt they’d do it more than once
If the company that makes Q-Tips was really serious about wanting us only using them on the outsides of our ears, they’d make the little stick come to a needle-sharp point. People would still poke them into the canal, but I kind of doubt they’d do it more than once.
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Silly me. I assumed my girlfriend’s nickname of “Thunder Thighs”
Silly me. I assumed my girlfriend’s nickname of “Thunder Thighs” had something to do with their size — until I heard the rumbling noises that often emanate from near the tops of them.
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Flapaccino: The Female Teabag Twist
What do you call the female version of teabagging?
A flapaccino
