“It shakes all over like a jellyfish, and I like it, crazy little thing called love.” Wow, Freddie Mercury must’ve been a terrible fuck.
Meh Thoughts
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Now She Wants to Break Three
My daughter broke two of my Freddie Mercury records.
Now she wants to break three.
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I’m not sure if it’s my singing voice, choice of music, or what, but my new “Singing
I’m not sure if it’s my singing voice, choice of music, or what, but my new “Singing Mammogram” business hasn’t been nearly as successful as I had hoped.
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The Truth About Santa Claus
I think, deep down inside, little children want to be told the truth about Santa Claus. Why else would they stand in line for an hour just to sit on my lap?
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After watching a porn movie, I can never recall the entire plot
After watching a porn movie, I can never recall the entire plot — I just remember a few snatches.
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Deluxe Magic Hat
My wife thinks that TV is a big waste of time, but I just learned something that’s sure to change her mind: When buying a magic hat for the kid’s snowman, spring for the deluxe version that keeps the snowman from melting when the temperature goes above freezing.
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Why Do You Have to Be Careful When Trees Start Dropping Feathers Instead of Leaves
Why do you have to be careful when trees start dropping feathers instead of leaves?
It could be your down-fall.
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There So Stupid
I hate it when people don’t know the difference between your and you’re.
There so stupid.
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The Honesty’s Too Much
Sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much — ’cause you’ve put on quite a few pounds, there, baby.
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It’s amazing Larry, Moe and Curly remained friends all those years.
It’s amazing Larry, Moe and Curly remained friends all those years. If one on my friends kept hitting me with a hammer on purpose, I’d likely stop hanging out with him.
