Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • Amish Romance

    I wonder — how do Amish girls know if it’s a romantic candlelit dinner or just a regular dinner?

  • On My Own Accord

    My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic…

    But if I’m gonna have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

  • It’ll definitely blow his little pink mind

    I just registered “bonfigliokryczyskovsky.com” because if somewhere there’s a guy named Bonfiglio Kryczyskovsky, and he tries to register his name and finds out that another Bonfiglio Kryczyskovsky has already beaten him to it, it’ll definitely blow his little pink mind.

  • Take Something for My Kleptomania

    I thought about trying to take something for my kleptomania, but that sort of defeats the purpose, then, doesn’t it?

  • The End Was in Sight

    As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight.

  • No idea why my breakfast date was so surprised that I pulled out

    No idea why my breakfast date was so surprised that I pulled out my tits during the meal. I clearly heard him say he wanted milk with his coffee.

  • Today’s lesson: “Right” versus “correct” Wife: “What are you

    Today’s lesson: “Right” versus “correct” Wife: “What are you thinking about right now?” RIGHT answer: “Not much. just how much I love you.” CORRECT answer: “How much I love you giving it to Taylor Swift with a Hello Kitty strap-on in a kiddie pool full of tapioca pudding in my fantasies.”

  • Sharks and Clowns: A Tasty Mystery!

    You know why sharks don’t eat clowns?
    They taste funny.

  • Fool Me -(n) Times

    Fool me zero times, shame on nobody.

    Fool me -(n) times, where nA = {x ∈ ℝ | 0 < x ≤ 1}, -(shame) on you.

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