“I once farted so loud that everyone in the grocery store ducked.”
Interviewer: “Ok… and any weaknesses?”
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Bucknekkid Dart Tag Reconsidered
While I love weapons, nudity and sports, perhaps I should have spent a little more time thinking through the reality of Bucknekkid Dart Tag.
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What the fuck? That disgusting “scat party” had absolutely
What the fuck? That disgusting “scat party” had absolutely nothing to do with jazz vocal improvisation using nonsense syllables! It was gross. Luckily, I can get it out of my head by showing off my barefoot skiing skills at tomorrow night’s watersports party.
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If It Gets Any Worse I’ll Have to Let Her In
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the window.
If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
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I Seriously Doubt My Mom Would Go for It
I don’t think I could ever be “born again,” like some of those Evangelicals I see. I don’t remember much from the first time, but umbilical cords freak me out, and I seriously doubt my mom would go for it.
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Take on an Empty Stomach
Doctor: “Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed you last month?”
Me: “It says to take on an empty stomach, so no, I haven’t had the chance.”
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Dogs need more clothes. Everybody knows dogs love wearing
Dogs need more clothes. Everybody knows dogs love wearing clothes. Buy more fucking clothes for your dog.
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I wonder if the guy who invented the vibrator heard a strange
I wonder if the guy who invented the vibrator heard a strange little voice whispering to him: “Build it and they will cum.”
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Dogs Chase Cars
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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Scientists now say that a woman can go blind from playing with
Scientists now say that a woman can go blind from playing with her clit too much, but efsjusbh h djxusuhs,
