If the news media were to suddenly announce that a nuclear bomb is flying on its way to the USA, I’m sure millions of people would shit themselves. That’s probably why they call them Incontinental Ballistic Missiles.
Meh Thoughts
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The Nick Smith Theorem of Wanking: The amount of sex I’m getting
The Nick Smith Theorem of Wanking: The amount of sex I’m getting is inversely proportionate to how much my right arm hurts.
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Some stupid women pay a small fortune to get their lips puffed up by cosmetic surgeons.
Some stupid women pay a small fortune to get their lips puffed up by cosmetic surgeons. I’ve found you can get the same effect for free just by using a few well-chosen racial slurs on the subway at rush hour.
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You’d think politicians would have a little more respect.
You’d think politicians would have a little more respect. I continually pass up a lot of great felony opportunities in my life so I can vote.
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Twice the Trouble: A Wish Gone Wrong
A man meets a genie who grants him three wishes, but warns him: whatever he asks for, his ex-wife gets twice as much.
“Well,” says the man, “for my first wish, beat me half to death.”
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Banana Affair: The Peeling Verdict!
Did you hear about the man who was found guilty of having sex with a banana?
He got off on a peel.
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Big Potatoes and Dirty Secrets!
Two Irish women were out in the field digging up potatoes.
One of them pulls out a huge one and says, “Ah, it’s just like my husband’s penis.”
The other gasps, “Oh? that big?”
The first shakes her head and says, “No. That dirty.” -
Ask all you want, but I ain’t showing you my Chanukah Bush
Ask all you want, but I ain’t showing you my Chanukah Bush.
