Sometimes I look outside my window and think, “Those people look like ants from here.” But then I realize I live on the first floor, and I really need to call the exterminator.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately
You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately send another saying, “Oops, I hit send too soon!”? Well, I like to instead write, “Oops, I was playing with my clit and clicked the wrong button!” That way, they totally forget about the stupid email.
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Her Kids and I Are Shocked
I just found out my girlfriend isn’t a virgin.
Her kids and I are shocked.
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I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those
I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those with two guys and one girl. It makes sense, given human nature: See, girls like variety while guys only like pussy.
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(Bonnie) I’m a conservationist at heart and take pride in my
(Bonnie) I’m a conservationist at heart and take pride in my innovative recycling ideas. Did you know an old dildo works great as an egg-beater? Yup, you’ll get light, fluffy eggs every time.
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Clowning Around with Cannibal Comedy
Two clowns are eating a cannibal.
One turns to the other and says, “Hey, I think we got the joke wrong.” -
Moo-spaper
How do cows stay up to date?
They read the moo-spaper.
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Chemistry Humor: NaBrO to the Rescue!
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
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My boyfriend got really excited when I whispered, “Someone’s
My boyfriend got really excited when I whispered, “Someone’s getting anal tonight.” Unfortunately for him, I was referring to his mom’s meticulousness in the kitchen.
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The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen
The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen one blue pussy, you’ve seen them all.
