I would be completely happy to just live in my dreams, if it weren’t for my girlfriend repeatedly changing into Hitler. No, wait a minute — that’s my real life.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Don’t you hate it when you’re masturbating to Christine
Don’t you hate it when you’re masturbating to Christine O’Donnell and just about to cum and Rosie O’Donnell pops into your head?
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The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates
The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates my eccentricities, like using exactly 2.5 tablespoons of lube, and that it has to be applied clockwise to both my cock and her sphincter, once before and once midway through. Yep, I’m *very* anal about anal.
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Al Roker
Should NBC be concerned? They keep getting communications that affect the weather from some rogue terrorist group called “Al Roker.”
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Ruminations are a lot like farts: You always like your own the best
Ruminations are a lot like farts: You always like your own the best.
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*RING* “Hello?” “What’s up?” “Aw, man, I was right in the middle
*RING* “Hello?” “What’s up?” “Aw, man, I was right in the middle of masturbating.” “Then why’d you answer?” “I thought it might be my mom.”
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I try listening to my heart, really I do
I try listening to my heart, really I do.
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Respectful Farewell or Evidence Elimination?
So when they burn a body at the crematorium, it’s “a respectful farewell to the departed.”
But when I do it, it’s “destroying evidence.”
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Loggins Attempts
I just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing “Danger Zone” five times.
Apparently, I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.
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Love on the Move: Dating Without Ties
The great thing about dating a homeless woman is you can just drop her off anywhere.
