I shot the sheriff. I also shot the deputy. And if the deputy had been wearing shoes, I’d have given them to the guy who was bitching because he had none. Then I would have taken him fishing. Hey, it’s not every day you can nail three cliches that easily.
Meh Thoughts
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Not Enough Sand for Legal Troubles
What do you have when you have a lawyer buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
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My Possessions No Longer Possess Me
My possessions no longer possess me. They sold me to a new owner last week.
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You know how they say “Turn your head and cough”?
You know how they say “Turn your head and cough”? That is so they don’t get germs in your face. At least that’s how the guy in my bus station does it. /@b0nrmunky
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(B0nrMunky) If there’s ever a tribute band for Spoon, it should
(B0nrMunky) If there’s ever a tribute band for Spoon, it should be called “Spooge.”
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The nice one with the gold sequins
When I think back about my grandpa, I always picture him in a Wonder Woman outfit. Not his around-the-house one, but the nice one with the gold sequins.
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I’ll bet Pat Benatar has been punched by a lot of strangers who just thought they were
I’ll bet Pat Benatar has been punched by a lot of strangers who just thought they were being clever.
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I wonder if the girls from the “2 Girls, 1 Cup” video are the
I wonder if the girls from the “2 Girls, 1 Cup” video are the kind of people who think that their shit don’t stink.
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I wouldn’t mind being the last person on earth.
I wouldn’t mind being the last person on earth. At least I could get that “sock puppet on the observation deck of the Eiffel Tower” fantasy out of my head once and for all.
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No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered
No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered her family originates from the former Soviet republic of Nojugsistan.
