Magician: “And for my next trick, I will disappear!”
Magician: *holds pear*
“You’re the worst fruit ever!”
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Fool Me -(n) Times
Fool me zero times, shame on nobody.
Fool me -(n) times, where nA = {x ∈ ℝ | 0 < x ≤ 1}, -(shame) on you.
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It’s tough being on the road so much, away from my wife and
It’s tough being on the road so much, away from my wife and family. However, it helps me to listen to Journey’s “Faithfully” while I’m driving one home in the Motel 6 cleaning lady.
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Won’t be able to hide under the bed
If I ever get another cat, it’s going to be a big one, like a tiger or a panther. That way, if he ever gets upset and viciously scratches me across my face, the bastard won’t be able to hide under the bed.
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Alone When Doing Number Two
The old song says, “One is the loneliest number you could ever do.” I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be alone when I’m doing number two.
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If I were a carpenter and you were my lady, would you then be
If I were a carpenter and you were my lady, would you then be less put off by my “Hey, baby, check out my awesome wood!” comment?
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“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in
“Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in the yard?” “Read the fine print on the Cialis box, Karen.”
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Pawsitively Mistaken: Cat Meds Gone Wrong!
I accidentally took my cat’s medication last night.
Don’t ask meow.
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Achieving a Smoking Hot Body: Cremation Humor!
I’ve decided that cremation is the only way I’m going to get a smoking hot body.
