The sweater my wife gave me was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Just a figure of speech
My friend asked me to say a few words at his wife’s funeral, so I stepped up to the podium, cleared my throat, and said, “Curvy, shapely, voluptuous, generously proportioned, full-figured…”
He stopped me and said, “Dude, what are you saying??”
I replied, “Sorry… it was just a figure of speech.”
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It didn’t have any engineers
Why couldn’t the engine hear?
It didn’t have any engineers.
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Ken came in a different box
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Because Ken came in a different box. -
Every year it’s Dublin
Ireland’s capital is the fastest-growing city.
Every year it’s Dublin. -
20 minutes looking for a golf ball
“What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?”
“I’ll spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.” -
Okay, who farted?
Three guys from San Francisco are in a hot tub when suddenly a large blob of semen rises to the top.
One of the guys stands up, angry, and asks, “Okay, WHO farted?” -
The third couldn’t reach
Three nuns were sitting on a bench in the park when a man ran up and flashed them.
Two of the nuns had a stroke. The third couldn’t reach. -
Show it your cross
Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village when suddenly a vampire jumps out from behind a bush.
The first nun screams to her friend, “Quick, show it your cross!”
“Get the fuck out of the way!” she yells.
