Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • Just one nail

    What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
    You can hang the picture with just one nail.

  • One less drunk

    What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
    One less drunk!

  • A cavity search

    How do you know if your dentist was a corrections officer before?
    If he wants to do a cavity search.

  • A four-chin teller

    What do you call a fat psychic?
    A four-chin teller.

  • Now I stand corrected

    I didn’t believe in my chiropractor.
    But now I stand corrected.

  • I think she’s bluffing

    My wife says she’s leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with poker.
    I think she’s bluffing.

  • She gave me a big hug

    I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
    She turned around and gave me a big hug.

  • Blowing things out of proportion

    My wife keeps blowing everything out of proportion.
    She is single-handedly ruining my balloon animal business.

  • He’s a web designer

    My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
    We had a few drinks. Turns out he’s a web designer.

  • An arm and a leg

    If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, try swimming with sharks.
    It can cost you an arm and a leg.

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