I’ve been thinking of starting a magazine called “Huh?” for people suffering permanent memory loss. To save money, I could just publish the same issue every month.
Meh Thoughts
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More Guys Named Moe
If Larry had been a wackier and more influential stooge, I suspect I’d know more guys named Moe.
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Gonads-First Into a Doorknob
There’s no shame in a man’s weeping; the bitter yet life-embracing tears of universal sorrow… especially when he’s just walked gonads-first into a doorknob.
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If Loving You Is Wrong
If loving you is wrong, then baby, it goes a long way towards explaining the concussion and crushed left testicle.
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Demented Exhibitionist Guy
I bet one of the hardest parts of being a superhero is remembering which phone booth you left your clothes in. And by “superhero,” what I mean is “demented-exhibitionist-guy.”
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Dolly Parton Smothers Little Short Mann
Suppose Dolly Parton married Tom Smothers, then divorced him and married Stuart Little, divorced him and married Martin Short, then divorced him and married Leslie Mann.
Her name would be Dolly Parton Smothers Little Short Mann.
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Sofishticated
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
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Never Start Off on the Wrong Foot
Why is a double amputee happier than an able-bodied person?
Because they never start off on the wrong foot.
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Safety in Numb Bears
Most zoo dentists refuse to treat a grizzly without strong anesthesia first.
Because there’s safety in numb bears.
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The Tolkien White Guys
The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis, who played Gollum.
They’re the Tolkien white guys.
