Nothing says “double standard” like pre-wedding celebrations: Penis Tiara? Okay! Vagina Hat? Not so much.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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No idea why my breakfast date was so surprised that I pulled out
No idea why my breakfast date was so surprised that I pulled out my tits during the meal. I clearly heard him say he wanted milk with his coffee.
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My dog likes to sniff bushes while he poops, lending a lot of
My dog likes to sniff bushes while he poops, lending a lot of weight to my theories that shrubs are just dog magazines.
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Dogs are man’s best friend. You can tell this because all your
Dogs are man’s best friend. You can tell this because all your other friends will stop having anything to do with you if you have their balls cut off.
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I’ll stop masturbating when they pry my cock from my cold dead
I’ll stop masturbating when they pry my cock from my cold dead hands. Or vice versa. (John “Schmitty” )Schmidt I love online sex. It gives me the chance to play the sex kitten, coming on to guys and driving them into frenzies
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Never hire a hooker named Crabby. Anyway you look at it, it’s
Never hire a hooker named Crabby. Anyway you look at it, it’s going to suck — and not in the good way, either.
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I Just Looked Next to the Potatoes
I was out to dinner and the waitress asked, “How did you find your steak, sir?”
I told her, “I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was.”
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If you ask me, Hallmark’s missing out on the untapped “Happy
If you ask me, Hallmark’s missing out on the untapped “Happy MILF Day” card market.
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Eyes Wide Open: A Unique Surgery Success
Went to school with a guy who was born without eyelids. He underwent surgery where they circumcised him and used the foreskin to create natural looking eyelids. The operation was a success.
He still looks a little cockeyed though.
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Ocean Depths: A Lawyer’s Ideal Ending!
What do you call 20 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
