Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • It was OK

    I recently visited a U.S. state north of Texas and south of Kansas.
    It wasn’t great… but it was OK.

  • It was a draft

    Somebody threw a beer at Donald Trump today.
    Don’t worry, it was a draft—he was able to dodge it.

  • It was a good trade

    I got a refrigerator for my wife today.
    It was a good trade.

  • She spit it out

    I gave my wife an orgasm yesterday…
    …but she spit it out.

  • The sky took my bike

    There’s a tornado in my area.
    The sky was so black, it took my bike.

  • Pump number 5

    I got robbed today and called the police.
    The cop asked if I had a description of the assailant.
    I said, “Yeah, it’s pump number 5.”

  • A legend in his own thyme

    My great-uncle Herb was a renowned gardener.
    He was a legend in his own thyme.

  • Couldn’t see himself wearing them

    Why did the short-sighted vampire refuse to get glasses?
    He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.

  • Big steps

    There was a safety meeting at work today…
    They asked me, “What steps would you take in case of a fire?”

    “Big fucking steps.”

    Evidently, that was NOT the answer.

  • The difference was staggering

    I compared how I walked down the street drunk vs sober.
    The difference was staggering.

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