Meh Thoughts: Dark Shower Thoughts & One-Liners

Soup or Ahi Frozen Fish Sticks

What did Mary Poppins like for dinner?

Soup or ahi frozen fish sticks, ex peas, all delicious.

Did you know that if your dog is running a fever, you’re supposed to give them ketchup?

Apparently it’s perfect for fixing a hot dog!

Is buttcheeks one word or should I spread them apart?

My wife accused me of cheating after she found all of the letters I had hidden.

Now she refuses to play Scrabble with me.

I really miss Robin Williams. He was a legend!

Without a doubt my favorite movie of his was “Mrs Fire.”

Being a literalist can sometimes be very helpful.

I can always respond to “Do these jeans make my ass look fat?” with a confident and honest “No.”

But I dread the day when she rephrases it as “Does my ass look fat in these jeans?”

At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, “Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!”

Then he pulled his pants back up and told me to get undressed.

A chemist froze himself at -273.15°C, and everyone said he was crazy.

It turns out that he was 0K.

My doctor told me I’m at an age where I need a colonoscopy annually.

I’m a bit worried. He’s a doctor and should know it’s pronounced anally.

Why do aliens make such bad therapists?

They ask too many probing questions.