Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • A Crusty Bus Station

    What’s the difference between a crab with breast implants and a transportation terminal?

    One’s a crusty bus station.

  • One Snatches Watches

    What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

    One snatches watches.

  • Cunning Stunts

    What’s the difference between a magician’s wand and a policeman’s taser?

    The magician’s wand is for cunning stunts.

  • Dad I’m Over Here

    My dad said, “Son, if you masturbate too much you’ll go blind.”

    And I was like, “Dad, I’m over here.”

  • If It Gets Any Worse I’ll Have to Let Her In

    Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the window.

    If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

  • Onions Was Such a Good Dog

    One day when I was young I walked into the kitchen and saw my dad cutting up onions, and just everything came over me I broke down crying. Onions was such a good dog.

  • Habit Forming

    The national committee of tailors has issued a warning about making clothes for nuns.

    Apparently, it’s habit forming.

  • More Interested in the Hereafter

    As I grow older I find I am more interested in the hereafter.

    I’ll be standing in the kitchen going “now, what did I come in here after?”

  • You Can Unscrew a Lightbulb

    What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

    You can unscrew a lightbulb.

  • Cracks Started to Appear

    My wife denied she was a lesbian but it wasn’t long before cracks started to appear in our marriage.

Get 5 Unhinged Jokes Every Friday

No spam. Just dark humor and bad decisions in email form.