As I folded the third load of laundry this morning, I contemplated on becoming a nudist.
Then I remembered what I look like naked, and I kept folding…
Meh Thoughts
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After the fuss at the airport security checkpoint had died down, it occurred to me that
After the fuss at the airport security checkpoint had died down, it occurred to me that it might have been better to tell the TSA agent that the carry-on item she was questioning me about was an inflatable pillow, not a pillow that would blow up.
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With my pants around my ankles, I’m having a jet of water shot
With my pants around my ankles, I’m having a jet of water shot up my ass. Guess which room of the house I’m in? Yep, your mom’s bedroom.
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I rubbed a magnet on my genitals once. My left nut became
I rubbed a magnet on my genitals once. My left nut became positive, my right nut negative, and my johnson pointed to true north.
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This bookstore has fantasy and self- improvement as two different sections.
This bookstore has fantasy and self- improvement as two different sections.
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I think it’s pretty pointless to pee in the shower to save water by flushing the toilet
I think it’s pretty pointless to pee in the shower to save water by flushing the toilet less. The real savings are generated by BATHING in the toilet.
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It’s a wonder we haven’t yet heard about Kevin Bacon being involved in some sordid love
It’s a wonder we haven’t yet heard about Kevin Bacon being involved in some sordid love hexagon.
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Shaking Like a Crack Whore
Sometimes at the office, my co-worker tells me I drink too much coffee and makes fun of me by saying I’m “shaking like a crack whore.” Good thing she doesn’t know what I do in my off-hours.
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Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti
I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet. And then no hands. And then no head. And then I ate his tasty liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti.
