The sweater my wife gave me was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Shout Out to Librarians
I’d like to give a shout out to all of the librarians…
…oh… oh, yeah… I’m sorry.
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Never split an in-fucking-finitive
Never split an in-fucking-finitive.
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I have Bieber Feber! Wait… I’m sorry, I hab a code. When I say
I have Bieber Feber! Wait… I’m sorry, I hab a code. When I say “Bieber,” I mean “bagina.”
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If Your Girlfriend Starts Smoking
If your girlfriend starts smoking….
…slow down, and use a lubricant.
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Catch a Falling Star and Blackmail It
Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket. Then tell it that unless you get a cool half-mil, you’ll sell to the highest tabloid bidder those embarrassing photos of it puking naked in the alley.
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Ancient grease
An archaeologist found a 2,000-year-old oil stain.
Ancient grease. -
Human DNA + Goat DNA
What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
You get kicked out of the petting zoo!
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I Could See Myself Working There
They’re building a mirror factory in my town.
I could see myself working there.
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Vajayjay. Hoo-ha. Honey pot. Love canal. Man, at the rate they
Vajayjay. Hoo-ha. Honey pot. Love canal. Man, at the rate they keep coming up with new names for lady-parts, I’ll never graduate from medical school.
