My mouth keeps writing checks my butt can’t cash, so I got my butt on the account, too. Unfortunately, it tends to blurt out my account number at inopportune times, like it did when I was applying for a mortgage last week. At least that’s what I told the loan agent.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Mattresses Prefer Overweight People
Why do mattresses prefer overweight people?
They leave a big impression.
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Never Misses a Period
What quality does the best secretary in the world have?
She never misses a period.
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The 69th Wedding Anniversary
The 69th wedding anniversary should be the dildo anniversary. Not only is the number appropriate, but you’re definitely not fucking anyone by then.
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Temperature Check: Taste vs. Tradition!
What’s the difference between oral and rectal thermometers?
The taste. -
It was OK
I recently visited a U.S. state north of Texas and south of Kansas.
It wasn’t great… but it was OK. -
CB Lingo 201
I would think the hardest part of truck-driving school is CB Lingo 201. You know, the second year, where everything you say in class has to be in CB.
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Take Something for My Kleptomania
I thought about trying to take something for my kleptomania, but that sort of defeats the purpose, then, doesn’t it?
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One Man’s Junk Is Another Man’s Treasure
Why are gay dating sites so popular?
Because one man’s junk is another man’s treasure.
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Sometimes I think my man just looks at me as a sex toy. A hot,
Sometimes I think my man just looks at me as a sex toy. A hot, wet, squirmy, stand-upsex-in-the-shower, reverse cowgirl sex toy.
