Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • External Combustion Engine

    I wonder how many limbs the guys who invented the external combustion engine lost before they decided to go with the internal idea.

  • I like my women like I like my grilled cheese sandwiches:

    I like my women like I like my grilled cheese sandwiches: slightly toasted, cheesy, and with really large tits.

  • I miss those innocent days when my kids were babies and were

    I miss those innocent days when my kids were babies and were tiny, sweet and full of giggles — and I could squirt milk out of my tits at the drive-thru cashier for funsies.

  • Eaton / Dayton

    I was datin’ this girl from Eaton.

    Or maybe it was the other way around and she was from Dayton.

  • I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little

    I wish I could be a hooker-magician. Then I’d throw a little humor into my act by yelling, “And now for my next trick…” and grabbing some guy by the wand.

  • Same Middle Name

    What do Winnie the Pooh, Alexander the Great, and Andre the Giant all have in common?

    Same middle name.

  • My stupid boyfriend will do anything I dare him to, including

    My stupid boyfriend will do anything I dare him to, including taking off his bathing suit at the public pool and showing everyone his junk. It was pretty damned funny until the cops showed up, at which point I totally denied he was my boyfriend. Hey, I don’t want to be with anyone stupid enough to do that kind of shit just because I dare him.

  • Scientists Can Clone Sheep

    I sleep better at night knowing that scientists can clone sheep.

  • You Should Be Hung

    I was sitting down having a beer watching my wife mow the lawn, and this old lady came over and shouted at me, “You should be hung!”

    I shouted back, “I am… that’s why she mows the lawn!”

  • It must be the cobblestone

    Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village. One says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
    The other replies, “Me neither. It must be the cobblestone.”

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