Humor tip: Exasperatedly muttering to your wife, “Time to make the doughnuts,” as you get out of bed in the morning? Funny. Doing the same when she asks you for sex? Not so much.
Meh Thoughts
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A Joke About a Felon Walking Down Stairs
I was going to tell you a joke about a dwarf felon walking down a set of stairs.
But it’s a little condescending.
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It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity
It kinda sucked when I learned that what I’d won in the charity raffle was literally a “liquor basket,” and didn’t have anything at all to do with the woman who sold me the ticket.
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I guess until I actually said it, it never seemed anything *but*
I guess until I actually said it, it never seemed anything *but* complimentary to tell her that she tasted “vulvalicious.”
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Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball
What’s the difference between a golf ball and a Land Rover?
Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball over 300 yards.
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They say you never forget the name of your first love. Mine was
They say you never forget the name of your first love. Mine was Asshole O’Douchebag.
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Surely I don’t need an umbrella today
I asked my iPhone, “Surely I don’t need an umbrella today?”.
Siri replied “Yes, and don’t call me Shirley”.Apparently I had left Airplane mode on.
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Maybe I’m being too picky. A guy doesn’t have to have a 50-foot
Maybe I’m being too picky. A guy doesn’t have to have a 50-foot yacht or a big dick for me to be interested. I would also notice him if he has a really hot girlfriend.
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I can sit and watch my cat play with a ball of string for hours.
I can sit and watch my cat play with a ball of string for hours. It takes so little to amuse his tiny brain!
