Well, the test results are back, and it turns out you *can* get a disease from a toilet seat — especially if you have sex with a heroin-addicted hooker on it.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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20 minutes looking for a golf ball
“What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?”
“I’ll spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.” -
Bad Cell Phone Connection
When my wife said we were breaking up, I thought she was referring to a bad cell phone connection. Now I’m not so sure, since she hasn’t come home in three weeks — and we don’t have a cell phone.
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You Can Trust Me As Far As You Can Throw Me
If I were a midget used-car dealer, my motto would be “You can trust me as far as you can throw me.”
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The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I
The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I get in, there’s a mystical voice that says, “Going down.”
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Thinking about losing weight, but I’m scared to discover what my
Thinking about losing weight, but I’m scared to discover what my penis looks like. What if it’s hideous?
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Disgruntled Employee
For the Halloween party at work this year, I went as a disgruntled employee.
The costume was simple: all I had to do was wear my regular clothes and improve my attitude.
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Fixing the boat
Plugging the hole in the row boat with my penis wasn’t a bad idea, but forgetting to take out my piercing barbell *was* — although the bass didn’t seem to think so.
