I tried forever to find it, but ultimately gave up and told the clerk at Lowe’s “I need caulk.”
Meh Thoughts
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It’s great that the letters in Jim Morrison’s name can be rearranged into a cool
It’s great that the letters in Jim Morrison’s name can be rearranged into a cool nickname: “Mr. Mojo Risin’.” My friend Bart Enos is stuck with “Bear Snot.”
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CB Lingo 201
I would think the hardest part of truck-driving school is CB Lingo 201. You know, the second year, where everything you say in class has to be in CB.
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The Space Program
If they ever start taking civilians into the space program, I’ll be the first to sign up. Not because I’m into science or exploring or stuff, but because I owe a lot of money to some really mean dudes in Jersey.
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If I were rich, I’d send an amazingly expensive, yet unmanned, capsule to another galaxy
If I were rich, I’d send an amazingly expensive, yet unmanned, capsule to another galaxy with a plaque in it reading: “This Spaceship Intentionally Left Blank.” Whoever found it would realize that since we Earthlings would go that friggin’ far for a pun, we’d go oh-so much farther to punish someone for stealing our water or whales or what have you.
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How exactly is titty fucking pleasing to a woman? That might
How exactly is titty fucking pleasing to a woman? That might explain why I’ve been having so much trouble finding the clitoris.
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I try to not sweat the small stuff.
I try to not sweat the small stuff. My pores are so damn big it oozes out in unpleasantly large chunks.
