Don’t you just hate it when you’re sitting on the toilet and realise there’s no paper left and you have to do that silly shuffle walk with your undies around your ankles to go and get some?
Anyway, I’m nearly at Costco now…
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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A Pirated Copy
My friend said his favorite Star Wars quote was, “Aargh Luke, ye scurvy dog, I be yer father.”
I think he got a pirated copy.
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Well, that didn’t work
My wife and I were discussing our eventual deaths…
I said my worst fear was dying alone, and that I wanted the last thing I hear to be her telling me she loves me.
She gave me a big hug, said, “I love you,” and then waited.
After a couple of seconds, she shook her head and said, “Well, that didn’t work.”
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Won’t be able to hide under the bed
If I ever get another cat, it’s going to be a big one, like a tiger or a panther. That way, if he ever gets upset and viciously scratches me across my face, the bastard won’t be able to hide under the bed.
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The Times are rough
I’ve run out of toilet paper, so I’ve started using old newspaper…
The Times are rough. -
When Ben Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise,” I think
When Ben Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise,” I think it he was talking about the effect of sleep on morning wood.
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Call me a “cheap ho” all you want — I’m still not throwing in
Call me a “cheap ho” all you want — I’m still not throwing in the midget for free.
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“You CAN Go Fuck Yourself!” – AutoerotiCon 2014 Seminar
“You CAN Go Fuck Yourself!” – AutoerotiCon 2014 Seminar
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You Can Trust Me As Far As You Can Throw Me
If I were a midget used-car dealer, my motto would be “You can trust me as far as you can throw me.”
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Just Stationery
I can’t figure out why my paper airplane won’t take off…
I guess it’s just stationery.
