Why is the Bible like a penis?
You get it forced down your throat by a priest.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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The Worst Thing About Being an Atheist
What’s the worst thing about being an atheist?
You have nobody to talk to when you’re having an orgasm.
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I’m Dreading It
I’m not a hairdresser, but a friend of mine asked me to do their hair like a Rastafarian.
I’m dreading it.
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I Became Transparent
When my son came out as a girl, I told her she could no longer see me.
It’s cause I became transparent.
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A MILF Shake
What’s the term for getting a handjob from a single mom?
A MILF shake.
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Posterchild for Posterchildren
I’m glad that there isn’t a disease where children are born with thin paper bodies. Although I guess it might be fun to be the posterchild for posterchildren.
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OJ Simpson Wanted to Move to West Virginia
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
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Shaking Like a Crack Whore
Sometimes at the office, my co-worker tells me I drink too much coffee and makes fun of me by saying I’m “shaking like a crack whore.” Good thing she doesn’t know what I do in my off-hours.
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Dinosaurs Died Before Fried Chicken
Sometimes when I eat fried chicken, I tear into it and pretend I’m some kind of prehistoric dinosaur making a kill. But then I realize that it’s pretty silly because dinosaurs all died long before fried chicken ever walked the earth.
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The Border Where They Combine
They say the atmosphere is 78 percent nitrogen and 22 percent oxygen. And when I become world-renowned for being the first person to discover the border where they combine, I’ll just sit back and laugh my ass off.
