Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • I Learned Next to Nothing

    I was so bored that I memorized six pages of the dictionary, and I learned next to nothing.

  • It’s Hard to Say

    I told my wife I absolutely love Worcestershire sauce.

    She asked what’s so special about it.

    “It’s hard to say,” I answered.

  • Not Enough Because I Have to Go Back Tomorrow

    I just asked my son what he learned today at school, and he told me, “Not enough, because I have to go back tomorrow.”

  • Vanished Without a Tres

    I recently attended a magic show in Mexico…

    The magician said, “Uno, dos,” and then vanished without a tres.

  • He’s Deaf

    Doc: I have bad news and really bad news… the bad news is your baby is just an ear… a 6-pound 5-ounce baby ear. No arms or legs or head… just an ear.

    But that’s not the worst part…. He’s DEAF!

  • Now I’m a Registered Sex Offender

    My doctor told me I could have a stroke at any time.

    Now I’m a registered sex offender.

  • I’m Nearly at Costco Now

    Don’t you just hate it when you’re sitting on the toilet and realise there’s no paper left and you have to do that silly shuffle walk with your undies around your ankles to go and get some?

    Anyway, I’m nearly at Costco now…

  • They Both Come in Olive Oil

    What does Popeye and a can of sardines have in common?

    They both come in olive oil.

  • It’s Up a Fairway

    A guy came to the doctor, asking if he could help get a golf ball out of his ass.

    “I don’t think I can. It’s up a fairway.”

  • Make Hens Meet

    I used to run a dating service for chickens but I had to shut it down.

    I struggled to make hens meet.

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