I felt kind of ripped off when I couldn’t see any scrub brush-bottomed bubble dudes spraying out of the bathroom cleaner can. Guess I need huff it a little deeper next time.
Meh Thoughts
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Jokes About Unemployed People
I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people.
But it doesn’t matter, none of them work.
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Women can be so damned picky.
Women can be so damned picky. How was I supposed to know the chocolate hearts she wanted for Valentine’s Day were 100% chocolate and not just chocolate-filled *actual* hearts?
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Alone When Doing Number Two
The old song says, “One is the loneliest number you could ever do.” I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be alone when I’m doing number two.
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to be on top tonight because that last dump made me a full two
to be on top tonight because that last dump made me a full two pounds lighter.
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Injured playing peekaboo
Last week, I was injured pretty badly playing a game of peekaboo. They had to put me in the ICU.
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The best part of waking up is not about coffee in my cup. It’s
The best part of waking up is not about coffee in my cup. It’s realizing I’m still young enough to have morning wood.
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He couldn’t complain
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there.
He said he couldn’t complain. -
Three Legs. To Me, That’s an Exotic Dancer
Three legs. To me, that’s an exotic dancer.
