If you’re embarrassed about getting breast implants, just tell people you had a “deviated septum” in your tits.
Meh Thoughts
-
An important benefit of miniaturization in computer technology is that even people with
An important benefit of miniaturization in computer technology is that even people with limited physical strength can now throw a computer out a window.
-
They say that slow and steady wins the race.
They say that slow and steady wins the race. Well, “they” apparently don’t run the US Olympic Committee, I can tell you that.
-
Eyes Wide Open: A Unique Surgery Success
Went to school with a guy who was born without eyelids. He underwent surgery where they circumcised him and used the foreskin to create natural looking eyelids. The operation was a success.
He still looks a little cockeyed though.
-
If you’re stranded at a cannibal commune and forced to eat a
If you’re stranded at a cannibal commune and forced to eat a penis butter and jelly sandwich, at least tell them you’d prefer they used creamy, not chunky.
-
It was OK
I recently visited a U.S. state north of Texas and south of Kansas.
It wasn’t great… but it was OK. -
My girlfriend is incredibly self-absorbed.
My girlfriend is incredibly self-absorbed. The good thing is that she saves a bundle on sanitary napkins.
-
I love checking into a hotel and there waiting in the room for me is a well-stocked
I love checking into a hotel and there waiting in the room for me is a well-stocked supply of tissues and a fresh, unopened bottle of hand lotion. It’s like they *know* me!
-
No idea why my breakfast date was so surprised that I pulled out
No idea why my breakfast date was so surprised that I pulled out my tits during the meal. I clearly heard him say he wanted milk with his coffee.
-
Something must be fu#$ed up with my Life Alert notifications.
Something must be fu#$ed up with my Life Alert notifications. I keep getting messages from Keith Richards saying he’s out of Jack Daniel’s.
