Motherfucker, stand back while I BLOW YOUR MIND. – Why I’m not allowed to play trains with my niece
Meh Thoughts
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He was gladiator
What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?
Nothing. He was gladiator.
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I’d never vote for another Bush for president, but I might be
I’d never vote for another Bush for president, but I might be persuaded to cast one for “Shaved Clam.”
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Free of charge
The sweater my wife gave me was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
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What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination?
What’s the difference between a bad and a filthy Rumination? Fuck me if I know!
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I’m trying to select a penis-shaped cake for a friend. Which one
I’m trying to select a penis-shaped cake for a friend. Which one uses real gluten-free organic flour, Cockasaurus or Diggly Wiggler?
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I once got my hair colored by a guy in Reno, just to watch him dye.
I once got my hair colored by a guy in Reno, just to watch him dye.
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Why Women Adore Jesus: The Ultimate Gesture!
Why do women love Jesus?
Because he was (spreads arms) hung like this.
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I cried because I had no shoes, until I met my buddy with some exceptionally strong weed.
I cried because I had no shoes, until I met my buddy with some exceptionally strong weed. After doing bong hits for an hour, I couldn’t remember what the hell I was crying about in the first place. Still can’t find my damn shoes, though.
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The Ultimate Rejection
What’s the ultimate rejection?
When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
