I was out on a walk when I saw a sign that said, “Man wanted for robbery.”
So I went in and applied for the job.
Meh Thoughts
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Lysol says there are lots of germs on my hand soap pump.
Lysol says there are lots of germs on my hand soap pump. But how the hell am I supposed to remember to wash my hands whenever I touch it?
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Frankly, I was a bit surprised at how pissed the hooker got when
Frankly, I was a bit surprised at how pissed the hooker got when I asked her for the WhorFax.
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Handy household tip: When realigning a screen door that’s
Handy household tip: When realigning a screen door that’s slipped off the track, try using “shit piss motherfucking cocksucker.”
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Wow. I thought she said she was “a bukkake fan.” Turns out she
Wow. I thought she said she was “a bukkake fan.” Turns out she said she was “a big hockey fan.” I guess I’m not getting into her “penalty box” either.
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engagement rings was updated. My vote goes for basing it on the
engagement rings was updated. My vote goes for basing it on the breast cup size of the fiancee. And if they’re fake? Cubic zirconia. Fair is fair.
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The Sting Operation
Did you guys hear about the worldwide sting operation on people who mix drinks?
Many of them are behind bars right now.
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A slipper
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A slipper.
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In my opinion, that “severe weather expert” on TV actually seems pretty laid back.
In my opinion, that “severe weather expert” on TV actually seems pretty laid back.
