Did you know that the string section of an orchestra is the most dangerous?
It’s because of all the violins.
Meh Thoughts
-
Eaton / Dayton
I was datin’ this girl from Eaton.
Or maybe it was the other way around and she was from Dayton.
-
Short Staffed
I went to a restaurant run by midgets and the service was terrible.
In their defense, they’re short staffed.
-
Dentist Impressions
I was at the dentist this afternoon for some impressions.
He does a good Johnny Carson but his Frank Sinatra is terrible.
-
Cockatoo
Do you happen to own a parrot?
‘Cause you look like you could handle a cockatoo.
-
Brown and Rhymes with Snoop
A man got fired from his job for having sex during work hours. When his boss asked why he did it, the man replied, “I don’t know man, she was just lying there naked. I kinda got the hint so we fucked.”
He was never hired at another morgue again.
-
Cookie Monster Waste
The amount of cookies I’ve watched the Cookie Monster waste with his bullshit chewing makes me sick.
-
Loggins Attempts
I just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing “Danger Zone” five times.
Apparently, I exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.
-
World’s Biggest Fan
I took my friend to see the world’s biggest fan for his birthday.
He was blown away.
