Meh Thoughts

  • Job Interview

    Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

    Me: I’d say my biggest weakness is listening.

  • The Speed Limit of Sex

    What is the speed limit of sex?

    68 — because at 69 you have to turn around.

  • Magic Relationship

    Wife wanted me to put the magic back into our relationship.

    But I don’t think sawing her in half was what she was thinking.

  • The Wizard’s Choice

    When I was a kid, a wizard gave me a choice — to have a giant dick, or perfect memory.

    I forgot which one I picked.

  • One Leg

    What has one leg and licks balls?

    My amputee girlfriend.

  • Flappuccino

    What is the female equivalent of teabagging?

    A flappuccino.

  • Chinese Amputee

    What do you call a Chinese amputee?

    Tai Wan Shu.

  • Mike Tyson’s Religion

    How can you tell Mike Tyson does not like religion?

    Because he punches everyone on their faith.

  • Can’t Win a Mall

    I entered a lottery to win an entire shopping center, but I failed.

    I guess you can’t win a mall.

  • Mirror Mirror

    I want to have sex with someone who’s as attractive as I am.

    That’s why I always masturbate in front of a mirror.

Interested in a Chaotic Meh Newsletter?

Register interest in a future newsletter. No launch date or sending schedule is set.