Meh Thoughts

  • The Hyperbole

    While the Super Bowl has about seventy thousand attendees each year, the hyperbole has at least a bajillion.

  • Same T-Shirt

    At the party last night, there was a girl wearing the same T-shirt as me.

    It was a tight fit, but we managed.

  • Elephant Wisdom

    Why are elephants so wise?

    It comes with getting long in the tooth.

  • Van Gogh Coffee Table

    I just bought an original Van Gogh coffee table.

    I know it’s authentic because there’s a bit of veneer missing.

  • Feeling Drained

    After spending an hour unclogging the bathtub and sink…

    I’m feeling pretty drained.

  • Two Tired

    Why did the bicycle fall down?

    Because it is two tired.

  • ID Theft

    My friend David has just been a victim of ID theft.

    He’s now called Dav.

  • Calendar Company

    Why did the employee at the calendar company get fired?

    He took a day off.

  • Parsley Farm

    I just got hired at a parsley farm.

    It’s pretty easy work, but the downside is that they started garnishing my wages.

  • Red Flags Everywhere

    I broke up with my girlfriend of five years because I found out she was a communist.

    I should have known — there were red flags everywhere.

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