What’s the difference between Jesus and a frame of Jesus?
You can hang the frame with only one nail.
Meh Thoughts
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Same Name
I should be happy because I have a new girlfriend. The problem is she has the same name as my sister. So every time we have sex now…
…all I think about is my new girlfriend.
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My frog impression
I’ll never forget what my granddad said to me before he croaked.
He said, “Hey kid, wanna hear my frog impression?” -
Ketchup with old friends again
I just got back from the annual Condiment Convention.
It was nice to ketchup with old friends again.
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The Times are rough
I’ve run out of toilet paper, so I’ve started using old newspaper…
The Times are rough. -
Ancient grease
An archaeologist found a 2,000-year-old oil stain.
Ancient grease. -
It means a lot to you
To all my Spanish-speaking friends out there, I just want to say “mucho”…
…because I know it means a lot to you. -
Law School
It turns out law school is a lot like elementary school. They assign you a locker, you meet new friends, and pulling the cute redhead’s pigtails still isn’t as good an idea as you think it is.
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Just a shot in the dark
I was trying to get romantic with the new nurse at my doctor’s office, so I asked her to dim the lights before she gave me the tetanus booster.
I guess it was just a shot in the dark. -
That guy from You’re So Vain
You know, someone should introduce that woman from “Killing Me Softly,” who thinks the guy is singing about her, to that guy from “You’re So Vain.”
