Tonight’s forecast: Overnight highs in the mid 70s with mostly cloudy skies and a 60% chance of me cornholing your sister.
Meh Thoughts
-
Sometimes I need to remind myself that I’m not 18 anymore.
Sometimes I need to remind myself that I’m not 18 anymore. And other times, the paramedics do it for me.
-
I’ll bet when Alice and Sam the Butcher did it, they’d both hang
I’ll bet when Alice and Sam the Butcher did it, they’d both hang lots of meat euphemisms, like “slipping her the sausage.”
-
Toss the Ball
In some sports you toss the ball to the fans after a victory….
You’re not supposed to do that when bowling. I know that now.
-
I may not ever make it big in rap, but I’m damn sure I’m the coolest cat to ever rhyme
I may not ever make it big in rap, but I’m damn sure I’m the coolest cat to ever rhyme “rutabaga” with “tacos which were made by Daniel Ortega.”
-
My girlfriend gave me a musical condom that plays a piccolo minuet.
My girlfriend gave me a musical condom that plays a piccolo minuet. I think she’s trying to tell me something.
-
I’d imagine that in those jungle cultures where people subsist on bugs, it would make
I’d imagine that in those jungle cultures where people subsist on bugs, it would make sense to have at least a “30-second rule” if you were to drop your lunch on the ground.
-
Zit or baby spider-filled cyst? *POP* Zit. Zit or baby
Zit or baby spider-filled cyst? *POP* Zit. Zit or baby spider-filled cyst? *POP* Zit. Zit or baby spider-filled cyst?
-
Our baby daughter always fights being laid into bed.
Our baby daughter always fights being laid into bed. Sure, it can be pretty annoying now, but I hope it takes at least 18 more years for her to outgrow it.
