Meh Thoughts

  • Ken came in a different box

    Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
    Because Ken came in a different box.

  • Every year it’s Dublin

    Ireland’s capital is the fastest-growing city.
    Every year it’s Dublin.

  • Can I join you?

    A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables, and asks:

    “Can I join you?”

  • 20 minutes looking for a golf ball

    “What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?”
    “I’ll spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.”

  • Okay, who farted?

    Three guys from San Francisco are in a hot tub when suddenly a large blob of semen rises to the top.
    One of the guys stands up, angry, and asks, “Okay, WHO farted?”

  • The third couldn’t reach

    Three nuns were sitting on a bench in the park when a man ran up and flashed them.
    Two of the nuns had a stroke. The third couldn’t reach.

  • Show it your cross

    Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village when suddenly a vampire jumps out from behind a bush.

    The first nun screams to her friend, “Quick, show it your cross!”

    “Get the fuck out of the way!” she yells.

  • It must be the cobblestone

    Two nuns are riding their bicycles through the village. One says, “I’ve never come this way before.”
    The other replies, “Me neither. It must be the cobblestone.”

  • A pain in the ass

    My wife and I tried anal.
    She loved it, but for me, it was a pain in the ass.

  • Best wingman ever

    I asked my best friend to be my wingman and boast about me while I was talking to a girl I like.
    It backfired horribly when he told her I’m the best sex he ever had.

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