Everything was fine until the crabs arrived.
That’s when things started to go sideways.
Meh Thoughts
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The thesaurus throat
I swallowed a bunch of synonyms today.
I’ve got the thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.
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Light blue
What’s blue and weighs very little?
Light blue.
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He was gladiator
What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?
Nothing. He was gladiator.
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A meth head actor
What do you call an actor who’s addicted to meth?
A meth-head actor.
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A waist of time
What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time.
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He couldn’t complain
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there.
He said he couldn’t complain. -
Free of charge
The sweater my wife gave me was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
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Just a figure of speech
My friend asked me to say a few words at his wife’s funeral, so I stepped up to the podium, cleared my throat, and said, “Curvy, shapely, voluptuous, generously proportioned, full-figured…”
He stopped me and said, “Dude, what are you saying??”
I replied, “Sorry… it was just a figure of speech.”
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It didn’t have any engineers
Why couldn’t the engine hear?
It didn’t have any engineers.
