How do you get 29 nice old ladies to say fuck at the same time?
Have the 30th nice old lady say, “Bingo!”
Meh Thoughts
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Say fuck at the same time
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BINGO
What has 75 balls and fucks old ladies?
BINGO. -
Well, that didn’t work
My wife and I were discussing our eventual deaths…
I said my worst fear was dying alone, and that I wanted the last thing I hear to be her telling me she loves me.
She gave me a big hug, said, “I love you,” and then waited.
After a couple of seconds, she shook her head and said, “Well, that didn’t work.”
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Its name is deceiving
Do not buy a Dyson Ball Vacuum.
Its name is deceiving. Don’t ask how I know. -
Back at work tomorrow
A morgue worker died today.
But he’ll be back at work tomorrow. -
Here comes the second one
How do terrorists feed their children?
“Here comes the airplane.”
“Here comes the second one.” -
The taste
What’s the difference between a rectal thermometer and a regular thermometer?
The taste. -
Just one nail
What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
You can hang the picture with just one nail. -
One less drunk
What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk! -
A cavity search
How do you know if your dentist was a corrections officer before?
If he wants to do a cavity search.
