Meh Thoughts: Dark Shower Thoughts & One-Liners

Dolly Parton Smothers Little Short Mann

Suppose Dolly Parton married Tom Smothers, then divorced him and married Stuart Little, divorced him and married Martin Short, then divorced him and married Leslie Mann.

Her name would be Dolly Parton Smothers Little Short Mann.

When my boyfriend started calling me his Rose Garden, I thought

When my boyfriend started calling me his Rose Garden, I thought it was because I was sweet and smelled nice. Turns out it was because of all the little pricks I’ve had in my bush.

(Stephanie S. Thompson) Every rule has it exception — even the

(Stephanie S. Thompson) Every rule has it exception — even the Golden Rule. If you enjoy receiving anal sex, for example, it would be wise to get permission before you “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

Two things: 1) HDTV is not “Hard Dick TV.” 2) Costco doesn’t

Two things: 1) HDTV is not “Hard Dick TV.” 2) Costco doesn’t like it when you bring a vibrator to look at HDTVs.

If I ever get cast for a reality show, I’m going to dub myself

If I ever get cast for a reality show, I’m going to dub myself “The Predicament,” because I bring that added element of suspenseful mischief. Plus, much like Snooki, it has a “dic” in it.