I’ll bet it’s hard being an elf. Not only do you spend your entire life making toys, but you also have a little elf dick.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Being a Literalist
Being a literalist can sometimes be very helpful.
I can always respond to “Do these jeans make my ass look fat?” with a confident and honest “No.”
But I dread the day when she rephrases it as “Does my ass look fat in these jeans?”
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Why Don’t Blind People Like to Skydive?
Why don’t blind people like to skydive?
Because it scares the dog.
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X-Ray to X-Rated
If I were to ever get X-ray vision, I expect it would last about ten seconds before becoming X-rated vision.
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People often wonder how I climbed the corporate ladder so
People often wonder how I climbed the corporate ladder so quickly. Personally, I think it’s due to my ignoring my career counselor’s advice and refusing to remove “fellatio expert” from my resume.
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My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong
My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong penis if you could lift weights with it. At least, that’s how I explained the whole bowling ball/SuperGlue incident to the ER staff.
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Leprechauns: Always a Little Short on Cash!
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
Because they’re always a little short. -
“It’s all Greek to me” takes on a whole new meaning at an orgy
“It’s all Greek to me” takes on a whole new meaning at an orgy.
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Parking fine
A traffic cop went to the trouble of leaving a note under the wipers to let me know I’d positioned my car correctly…
It said, “Parking fine.” So that was nice.
