A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Those are just contractions
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Football in the Background
I was a cameraman in Dallas for three years before I realized that they have a football game in the background of all those cheerleader performances.
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Toilet-Training Transferability
As I watched my two-year-old drag his naked bottom across the carpet, I realized that perhaps I overestimated the transferability of the toilet-training skills I had initially honed with our puppies.
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Neither Repeating Nor Terminating
My math teacher calls the 14th of March “Pi Day” because it’s 3/14. I celebrated by neither repeating nor terminating for the whole day.
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This is the age of knowing what you’re made of. If you’re using
This is the age of knowing what you’re made of. If you’re using Viagra, you should already know that you
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I can never remember the trucker grammatical rule. Is it “fuck”
I can never remember the trucker grammatical rule. Is it “fuck” before “shit” except after “cocksucker,” or the other way around?
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Looking in Alderaan Places
If you came here expecting me to drop some awesome Star Wars puns today…
I’m afraid you’re looking in Alderaan places.
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Wasted Opportunity: The Lawyer Bus Joke
What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with one empty seat?
A wasted opportunity.
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Sting Operation
Did you hear about the bee who got busted for visiting a prostitute?
It was a sting operation.
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All the digging
What’s the worst thing about having sex in a cemetery?
All the digging.
