I donated my old basketball hoop to the school for the blind.
It will be missed.
Meh Thoughts
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Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to
Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to clean around the tied-up midget.
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Banana Affair: The Peeling Verdict!
Did you hear about the man who was found guilty of having sex with a banana?
He got off on a peel.
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My brother has an allergy to certain wheat products, but he still tries to eat them
My brother has an allergy to certain wheat products, but he still tries to eat them whenever he can. I think he’s just a gluten for punishment.
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Maybe it’s just me, but I’d bet if you whispered, “Be gentle,”
Maybe it’s just me, but I’d bet if you whispered, “Be gentle,” to your cellmate, it’s pretty likely just the OPPOSITE is going to happen.
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Swallow
What bird doesn’t have kids?
Swallow.
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You really can learn things in Lamaze classes.
You really can learn things in Lamaze classes. I learned that just because a video has a naked lady in it doesn’t mean that my “bawm-chick-a-bamp bamp” song is going to automatically get a laugh out of the room.
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Sometimes a girl just needs to hear those three little words:
Sometimes a girl just needs to hear those three little words: “I’d hit that.”
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My girlfriend’s favorite sexual thing is reverse cowgirl. First
My girlfriend’s favorite sexual thing is reverse cowgirl. First she farts repeatedly, then she eats beans from a can by the campfire.
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With my luck, I’ll end up with the world’s first diagnosed case
With my luck, I’ll end up with the world’s first diagnosed case of “genital anthrax.” And when they find out I work at the post office, the boss is really going to question my mail-handling procedures.
