Last week, my girlfriend’s dog died. So to cheer her up I bought her an identical one. She was livid.
Yelled at me, “What the fuck am I going to do with two dead dogs?”
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Grey and Comes in Pints
What’s grey and comes in pints?
An elephant.
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Chemistry Humor: NaBrO to the Rescue!
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
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The Only One
I asked my wife if I was the only one she’d been with.
She said yes — all the others had been nines and tens.
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Feeling Drained
After spending an hour unclogging the bathtub and sink…
I’m feeling pretty drained.
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Never Forget: A Witty Reminder
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said you’d never forget!!! -
Short Staffed
I went to a restaurant run by midgets and the service was terrible.
In their defense, they’re short staffed.
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Why do they call it underwear? I call mine manhole covers
Why do they call it underwear? I call mine manhole covers.
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Of all the movie lines I’ve quoted in an effort to pick up a
Of all the movie lines I’ve quoted in an effort to pick up a guy, City Slickers’ “I shit bigger than you” is probably my least successful.
