When my boyfriend sent me to get a Brazilian, I first thought I was going to fuck a hot chick from Rio. Either way, now I can’t fucking walk.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
-
Rap version: If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d
Rap version: If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening, All over this motherfucker.
-
While flipping through the TV channels, I found the “Thriller”
While flipping through the TV channels, I found the “Thriller” video in the middle of the zombie dance. My youngest son said, “I bet that’s what Michael looks like now.”
-
Girls say they want a funny guy, but leave off “who’s not fat”
Girls say they want a funny guy, but leave off “who’s not fat” — like I say I want a nice girl but leave off “who’s hot, rich and into butt stuff.”
-
True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to
True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to the bed and fuck your lights out.
-
Some people say the difference between “like” and “love” is
Some people say the difference between “like” and “love” is “spit” and “swallow,” but that sounds more like the difference between “right” and “wrong” to me.
-
I got in trouble at the PTA meeting for suggesting “Wild, Hot
I got in trouble at the PTA meeting for suggesting “Wild, Hot and Horny” as the them for the pre-school auction. Those fucking pervs — I was talking about desert deer.
-
I like to do it doggy-style. That’s where I growl at my husband,
I like to do it doggy-style. That’s where I growl at my husband, then lift my leg and pee on him.
-
Caviar and a Blowjob
What’s the difference between caviar and a blowjob?
No difference — you don’t get either of them at home!
-
Mattresses Prefer Overweight People
Why do mattresses prefer overweight people?
They leave a big impression.
