Those Viagra commercials don’t warn you about the embarrassing effects the drug has on vestigial tails.
Meh Thoughts
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My nose starts pointing skyward
While I love my renewed confidence now that I had the doctor transfer pubic hair to my bald scalp, the only side effect seems to be that whenever I talk to a pretty girl, my nose starts pointing skyward.
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Ruminations are a lot like farts: You always like your own the best
Ruminations are a lot like farts: You always like your own the best.
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Incomplete Download
I think my porn was not completely downloaded
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A legend in his own thyme
My great-uncle Herb was a renowned gardener.
He was a legend in his own thyme. -
Flappuccino
What is the female equivalent of teabagging?
A flappuccino.
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There should be a summer camp for adults where you just go and sleep for three weeks.
There should be a summer camp for adults where you just go and sleep for three weeks.
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I never wear party hats, because if the zombie apocalypse hit just at that moment, I’d
I never wear party hats, because if the zombie apocalypse hit just at that moment, I’d be staggering around dead with an embarrassing hat on. /@b0nrmunky
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When it comes to my bucket list, I find it’s easier to do stuff first, then add it to
When it comes to my bucket list, I find it’s easier to do stuff first, then add it to the list. So far, I’ve achieved five years of chastity and the 742nd all-time high score on Frogger.
