I used to enjoy taking afternoon vacations in my mind, but I eventually got lazy and the service at my mental resort went downhill. So I stopped tipping, but now I suspect that I’ve begun spitting in my drinks to get even.
Meh Thoughts
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You’re saying you DON’T watch midget porn on your phone when you’re on the crapper at
You’re saying you DON’T watch midget porn on your phone when you’re on the crapper at work? Well excuse ME, your majesty! Greg Preece
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English if I ran it: A group of crows is called a “group.”
English if I ran it: A group of crows is called a “group.” A group of buffaloes is called a “group.” A group of catfish is called a “group.”
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Love is patient, Love is kind; it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Love is patient, Love is kind; it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. But if you don’t give Love *some* kind of shout-out during your nuptials, it gets pretty tweaked, and might do something unspeakable to your punch at the reception. Jus’ sayin’.
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Neither Repeating Nor Terminating
My math teacher calls the 14th of March “Pi Day” because it’s 3/14. I celebrated by neither repeating nor terminating for the whole day.
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I hate dating a pharmacist. He always puts stickers on me
I hate dating a pharmacist. He always puts stickers on me saying, “Not to be taken orally.”
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The Cola Wars
Call me embittered, but I lost a mother and two brothers to the Cola Wars, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose my pop!
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I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I
I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I remembered gay men are men, too, like me. Yesterday I put my dick in a tree stump.
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You know you have been married a while when Date Night involves getting a sitter for the
You know you have been married a while when Date Night involves getting a sitter for the kids so you can shop at Restoration Hardware until it closes.
